The Coffee Table

Jesus and Maria love each other, endlessly, magnificently, even though they sometimes just don't notice. But hey, now that their little lump of love is born, everything's going to work out. Sure, Maria still has a bit of a North-Korean streak in handling the household, calling all the shots when it comes to the color of their apartment walls, the name of the baby, the food they eat, the TV shows they watch, the thickness of the toilet paper and their holiday destination. Jesus, to prove to her and himself he ain't some spineless trilobite but that he has a will of his own, gets to pick the coffee table. Halleluiah. A hard-won victory that he's cherishing by picking out the most aggressively ugly little thing imaginable, the furniture equivalent of Liberace getting lost in Ikea. An unbreakable wonder, says the salesman. Overpriced, says Maria. It will bring boundless happiness to their lives, says the salesman. Their worst nightmare, says us.